Losing Hope and Ma

Today since morning I was in the board room attending a meeting with all of our colleagues. A flash of thought rattled me from inside. "What has been the most frighting moment of my life so far?".

Suddenly, my thoughts took me back to 1st week of Nov 2008 to GNRC, Guwahati, where Ma was being treated for what the docs thought to be encephalitis. High doses of medicine had failed to recover her from the deadly illness. On the contrary she was slipping into unknown troubles. She started losing her sight and her limbs started become numb and lifeless. Her skin was increasingly shrinking and darkening. The pain on her head never seemed to go away. It appeared to me that she was under some dark evil forces that was hell bent on sqeezing out life from Ma. That particular morning Dr Das, who was in charge of Ma came for his round and checked Ma. All of us including Kaju, Sangita and my dear friend Pranjal were waiting for his results outside. That was another anxious moment. When at last he did not come out, I went in side the ICU. The doc saw me and took me aside. I knew that I was in trouble. Those 2 munites I spent with the doc was perhaps very painful and when he said, "I dont think we can do anything about her". I asked him, " So are you saying, " She is dying?". He said, " Yes, now only a miracle can save her life".

I lost my mother after a week or so. But even more dreadful were those conversations that I had with Dr Das from GNRC. When you lose something, that perhaps is manageable. But when you lose hope that is pure misery. Hope keeps the flame glowing. May these situations never come across your life.